Prompt Four: I was an ugly baby.

The way I feel physically influences how I feel overall in my daily life. Sounds kind of superficial? Well, many criticize our celebrity-laden, superficial society and I've seen these criticisms against celebrities and their lifestyles in our classroom in the past week. But I just accept that I live in a superficial society and that everyone is superficial whether they want to accept it or not. ( that is my cut down version of what I had to rant about...I wrote out a page of stuff and then I just thought it was too long...)

Being physically attractive is a very big deal to me. I had a traumatic childhood you see. It's pretty sad but my mom has a lot of fun with this.

I was born in Korea and I lived there until I was three years old. For one thing, Korea is very superficial and they have very strict standards. Korean girls need to have small everything! Small face, nose, lips, body, etc. They need to be skinny and have large eyes in order to be considered pretty. I, on the other hand, came out looking like a boy. I had a large nose, large lips, big head and short legs so people always made fun of me and they liked to make me cry and all but one of my relatives didn't like me. My sister on the other hand had the typical Korean girl look and they spoiled her!

I always thought the result of my childhood would make me like Michael Jackson and his obsession with his nose.

So, I think for all my life, I have always been very concerned with my looks because I just wanted approval.

In America, I have come to appreciate the fact that anything can be beautiful and these standards have been set by all the celebrities who come in different shapes and sizes and are still considered beautiful.

Angelina Jolie: Angelina Jolie has thick lips and it is her most distinct feature. She makes me feel as if big lips are an attractive feature.

Beyonce Knowles: She was thick but beautiful when she was in destiny's child. Weight is always an issue and she made being thick being sexy.

Tyra Banks: I gained a great amount of respect for her when she came out on the cover of People in a bathing suit titled "'You call this fat?' Mocked after gaining 30 lbs the ex-model fires back at her critics"

Here's a clip from her show.

Sylvester Stallone: God he just looks like he got whacked by a bat too many times but I still find him strangely attractive.

Also this part doesn't really help my argument but I want to age really attractively and die around 50 or 60. I'm kind of afraid of being old, loosing my memory and having my kids fight over my money. I'm also afraid of being one of those very bitter and very old grannies who just comes off as a burden to her family. But before I die, I want to always be attractive like Diane Keaton. She's past her menopause and she's coming out in the movies in her underwear looking better than me! If that means plastic surgery, botox and lipo, I'll do it.

My notion of the good life is partly defined by physical appearance which influences my confidence as a female. I'm not so resistant the whole superficial society thing because I know that everyone's superficial deep inside them.

I've just come to reach deep inside and embrace it.

If looking attractive helps me feel confident and good inside, then I don't see a problem with that. Do you?